It’s not uncommon for people to think their grandchildren are cute, but that doesn’t always mean they’ll take their grandchildren out to play. Also, there are cases where the way grandchildren are treated by biological parents and in-laws differ. One mom in the Mama Star Community made the following post:
“My parents take my children to amusement parks and zoos, but my in-laws never take them anywhere. So, I feel like my kids don’t like them. Do your in-laws take your children to various places?”
In the case of the poster, her biological parents take her children out to play, but her in-laws don’t. As a result, it seems like her children aren’t very close to their in-laws. While there may be reasons for the in-laws’ behavior, the poster wants to create good memories with her children. What about the in-laws of other moms?
Do your in-laws take your children out to play?
“They don’t usually interact with us much, but they take us on an overseas trip once a year. It’s a great distance.”
“They take our children to light mountain climbing, hiking, and events, which we appreciate. But they’re over 70 years old, so I’m starting to worry about their active lifestyle.”
One mom’s in-laws take them overseas once a year. It seems like they’re naturally travel enthusiasts. They probably think it’s more fun to make memories with everyone. Also, there are in-laws who invite children to do active things like mountain climbing and trekking. Depending on the age of the in-laws, the content of the outings may change, but experiencing various activities seems to be a good experience for children.
Reasons why in-laws don’t take children out to play
“It’s tough for elderly people to take care of children. My grandparents’ house is lenient enough to allow them to do as they please.”
It’s probably not that the in-laws don’t take the children out to play, but rather that they “can’t.” As people get older, they may experience physical weakness and pain in their legs and back. Even if they took care of the children, they might be worried about the safety of the activities. They might be avoiding taking them out to play now out of concern for what might happen later.
Respect for the mom
“Could it be that they are trying to avoid getting involved because you didn’t ask for their help?”
It’s possible that in-laws might think the mom doesn’t want them to play with the children, even if that’s not the case. In-laws might overthink things as well. Maybe the in-laws are trying to be considerate and not do anything the mom wouldn’t like. It might be good for the poster to ask the in-laws to take the children out to play if she wants to.
Some moms want their in-laws to stop taking their children out
“I don’t want them to take my children out. It would be impossible for them to look after energetic children if something happened.”
While some moms feel dissatisfied that their in-laws don’t take their children out to play, others feel the opposite. In particular, there are worries about the physical health of the in-laws and concerns about how they would handle unforeseen circumstances.
“When I was in the hospital after giving birth to my second child, my husband took the children back to his parents’ home. At that time, my father-in-law took our eldest out for early morning fishing, and they got into a minor accident (scraped the guardrail) on the way back. I went crazy and told them to never take them out again.”
There’s even an incident where the father-in-law got into a minor accident while taking the children out. Fortunately, it was a minor accident, but it’s understandable that the mom wouldn’t want to leave her children with them in the future, thinking about what would have happened if it was a major accident.
If you invite your in-laws, they may be happy to take your children out to play
“If you want your in-laws to take your children out, they would be happy to do so if you invite them.”
The in-laws may have physical concerns and may be reluctant to ask the mom to play with the children. There may also be in-laws who worry about the children. It might be smoother if the moms invite them to play rather than waiting for the in-laws to act. It’s best for the moms to plan activities while taking into account the feelings of the in-laws and the children.
Article by Komomo, edited by Miyabi, Illustrated by Mamemi